I am the Destroyer of Souls

Today my younger sister came to visit. Her hamster died last week and she was pretty down, as you can imagine so I suggested she come to my house for a day of films. After a lot of faffing trying to sort out days and times when my Dad could drop her off on his way to work and then pick her up again on his way home, we settled on today…around eight o’clock. I’m not a morning person and though I agreed to be up and dressed before she arrived I did end up answering the door in my pyjamas. But hey, to me ‘a bit before 8’ means ‘about 7.45’ not twenty-five past seven. It probably didn’t help that, despite deciding to go to bed early, I ended up going to bed at half 1 after two hours of scrolling through Tickld and half an hour of solitaire. Then around 2 am my brain decided to wake me so that I could hallucinate a towel on my bed and freak out. So I was tired.

We managed to squeeze in four films between 8 and 4ish plus lunch and I managed not to fall asleep (it was unlikely, once I’m awake that its, can’t nap). We started with The Eye. I told her that no ghosts ever launch themselves at the screen during the movie, so there were no real jump scares. So I lied. Not purposefully, I just forgot. Then we watched The Mist, which was better the second time around. We spent most of the film rooting for Ollie (played by Toby Jones) because he was cool and he had a gun, and praying for something horrible to happen to the religious fanatic whose name escapes me because, quite frankly, I don’t care. Everything was great until the end. In fairness, I did warn her at the very start of the film, but by the end she didn’t want to watch the film any more. It destroyed her soul, which was apparently my fault because I made her watch it. I thought it was worth it.

After this, we decided to watch a family film to bolster her spirit. I am ashamed to say we watched…Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m 21 and I still love Winnie the Pooh and I’ve loved all of the movies, but this, this was something else. A friend of mine told me once that this was a brilliant film, she lied. It was god awful, more like a pointless episode of the TV show, rather than a feature length film. It had none of the adventure or story that the other films had and, quite frankly, the Heffalump was irritating and I wanted him to die. I know he’s only a child, I don’t care.

We finished with Red Lights which is so good it’s one of the few films I’ve given 5 stars (along with Pandorum, The World’s Fastest Indian, and Pooh’s Heffalump movie, thanks to Abigail). I kept jumping because I’m all skittish and Ab kept laughing at me because I’ve already seen it so I should be prepared for an extremely loud phone ringing. My Dad rang 40 minutes from the end saying he’d be here in 20 minutes to pick Ab up, so he waited twenty minutes while we finished the film, bless him. I seriously recommend Red Lights, it’s fantastic!

All in all, we had a fun day, especially when I tried to carry a chair up the stairs as silently as possible and smashed into every corner available at eight in the morning, and Ab got to play with Wesley and Fidget (mine and my friend’s hamsters (I’m hamster sitting)) which I think cheered her up.

Yeah, I’m such a good person. You know, apart from also being the destroyer of souls.


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